Memorial Week-End 2010

I began the week-end by reading the postings of CaringBridge 2 years ago. On that day, Bob was having a good day. I know that some may think I should "get on with life" but I have found that I must travel the journey that I feel is right for me. That is where my healing needs to come from. I went to the Farmers Market on Saturday to get some produce and there was Juli and Phil my friends from Mayo that were at my side on some of the most difficult days of Bob's illness. They were with friends and and I was invited out to lunch with them. That was great and good. Those merices are so welcomed.
It was also the week-end that my friend John, (he led Bob's service in Lanesboro and he and his wife Ruth found The Shire) moved to PA. He too is starting a new life as Ruth died about a year ago of CA. They have been our friends for years and John was probably one of Bob's closest friends. They retired from Bethel the same year. That had a strange impact on me--as it seems like another part of Bob's life left.
I was busy with the yard and it was hot and muggy, but I didn't seem to mind--just Charley who was in need of a haircut! Some beautiful music was winging its way through the windowns and God was present in a meaningful way.
In watching some of the Memorial Services, one serviceman mentioned that when he is in battle, what he thinks about is just going home. Like the bullets of war, they just keep coming your way, you dodge, some get you and some just take care of themselves. Without being profane in meaning, that is how the last 2 years has felt at times. You dodge this and that in the middle of your pain--some issues get you and other just keep on going.
The good news for me is that the greatest teacher and mentor has been my grief, pain and healing. It has taught me to be transformed that no matter what comes, the inward Ann will go on living--two steps forward and sometimes 3 steps back, but you just keep living and try not to dwell on the life that is no more, but find God's answers and guidance, " For such a time as this."
If you have prayed, please keep on holding all of us up to His guidance and reminders of His love for us. There has been change--and I believe that it is good.

Shalom,
Ann