Year One Is Gone,

I did not intend to write on the blog as there are so many things that need to be done this Saturday, but I will do it anyway. This may be a procrastinating thing, but so be it.

Bob left us one year ago, June 23, 2008. The Saturday following which I am remembering today, was his service of remembering here at The Shire. The last month or two has been more "raw" than I expected. Here again, there is no right or wrong in mourning, it just happens.

Ethan was here over the week-end and bless his heart, he timed vacation around this time and it was good to have him around. He even discovered termites in the garage, and I guess I am glad for that--something else to deal with.

Tuesday Ethan, Karen and myself headed to the North Shore where many memories were made and where Bob loved to go with anyone who would go. I think he especially enjoyed men as they do not cart in so much "stuff." Ethan took us to the lake where they put the canoes in to portage. I could just visualize how it was all happened years ago. Then we headed for the shore on Lake Superior where camp was set up--for the two young ones--and a fire was started and we sat around telling stories. Fortunately with Karen's IPhone, we were able to get good reception with Kimberly in San Diego and with speaker phone it was second best to having here with us.

I was greatful to Sandi and the children for inviting Kimberly and Natalie for a visit on June 23. Life has really changed as this is the first year in many that S/S and the 3 E's have not been here with us. Life is different in so many ways.

For me, it was good to go to the North Shore. There was some closure for me as the beauty of the Boundry Waters were right before us--something Bob loved. Most of the Lakes do not allow motorized boats--only canoes. The peace of the area was healing . As I drove back to the Shire, my emotions were renewed to the emotions I felt when we drove home after leaving the hospital and coming home one year ago. Some of the rawness was not there but the finality of this new life was there. I get ready to unlock the door, and in looking down is a box!!! In it a dozen red roses!! The flood gates of tears took over--and my brother John remembered again!!

Now as I try to focus on being present with God and the life that He wants from me, I am at Peace. One of the events of life beyond now is the visit to San Diego to assist Kimberly and Natalie as Kimberly continues to work while Nate is in Bolivia doing research for his Thesis. Baby sitting your grandchild is really tough but someone has to do it. I will then have to go back the first of August to welcome Natalie's little brother.

Every Tuesday, I come home from work and there is Dick mowing ALL of the lawns. What a gift! I keep checking the gas cans to keep then filled and they are always full. I think that Dick and I have to have a discussion! Dick's wife, Diane, has pulled so many weeds for the land. Those two have been wonderful stewards of the land.

For now, there is much to get done but I have had some great times of Solitude this morning as it has rained most of the morning. Reminded me of the service a year ago.

Thank you to all for your support in prayers, the e-mails, cards and especially to those who remembered a year ago and let me know.

Shalom,
Ann

More Remembering

I think it will take me a while to stop thinking 'updates" but I will just go with the flow. Today a year ago we were informed that Bob's cancer was 'invading the treatment." I guess I do look back. In the past, when I have gone to or experienced special places, I 'remember' and re-live so to speak.

I have been finding comfort in reading the Caringbridge Book that Nate and Kimberly gave. In a different way, it has been comforting and I read it without crying. I am feeling "relief"more than ever that Bob is not in pain.

The Japanese Lilac Tree that the nurses gave is in bloom. That is the way they wanted it when they picked it out--to bloom in memory of the time Bob left us.

Karen, Mike, Ethan and I will be heading to the North Shore Tuesday to "Remember" in the place that Bob loved to go to and where we as a family went several times. His very special times were hunting with John and Ethan. He also loved taking Bethel students up there in the quiet and see and do things that always bring laughter as he told the stories so many times. Kimberly, Natalie and Nate cannot be there as Nate will be in South America doing research and Kimberly is too close to the little guys birth. We go with her blessing.

Thank you to those that continue to put notes on Caringbridge. They are still a real blessing.

Shalom,
Ann