Dear Family and friends,
I have chosen the eve of Memorial Day, 2009 to close caring bridge and to open Shire Notes, PRN.
As we near the one year anniversary of Bob's death, now less than a month away I thought that I would honor his life by sharing some things that you may have heard from him and then maybe not. As a veteran Bob was fiercely patriotic.
I remember so well the month before we were married as we were moving Bob into our first apt. I was unpacking a box with tons of bowling trophies. I noticed that all of them had the last name scratched out. I asked him about them and he said that it was his alias. Of course I asked him about it and he would not tell me. This was hurtful as I was thinking don't you tell your future wife everything? Even in his explaining that his information was not declassified and he was bound by law not to tell anyone, was little comfort to me. Well, I obviously got over it, but it did come up occasionally! Talk about loyalty and honor to his country. I saw the anger when a CIA agent was outed not long ago. To him that was treason. I remember that he told me when he got off the plane after being discharged and coming home from Japan, he knelt and kissed American soil. When we went to games and the National Anthem was played, occasionally there were a few tears. This was not just Country, but a part of who he was. He was loyal, and trusting. One of his favorite books and movie was, The Spy Who Came In From The Cold. When we hosted our book club one time, this book was his choice to read and discuss. I even learned a few things that night has he relived many of his experiences of his time in the Army as a Spy.
For me, life has been a strange, and different path. I am not crying as much, and I don't think that means a whole lot other than I am thinking more clearly and feeling more. As Spring has broken through with all its majesty, I am reminded of another Season here in MN that we loved. Yes, the dandelions are in full bloom and again, friends are coming to my aid in helping with mowing, weeding and future plans of a garden nearer to the house so it is easier to tend. Again, "How Do I Say Thanks?" The first anniversary, birthday and mother's day was cushioned by my children with flowers a week-end in the Cities --pampered and yes, a brother who also remembered. Thank you to all. Please don't stop praying for me and the children. The journey is still to be walked and just because a year is up next month, we still need to know God's Presence in our lives as we continue without Bob/Dad.
When Kimberly and Natalie came out for a visit last month, she brought with her a gift that was a bound copy of all the journal and guest book entries of Caringbridge. I was going through that before I started writing. On this day last year, Bob was having a fairly good day and we were all encouraged.
This past Tuesday, I visited a dear friend who will soon enter the gates of heaven. She and her husband discovered this place in Lanesboro. I told her that when she saw Bob to tell him that my computer crashed!! I don't think it will matter to him and that is okay.
"The crucible of change is our everyday world. The tools of our transformation are the choices arising from our everyday circumstances." God wants from me a relationship not a "Mechanical Transaction." ....Richard Foster. I am working on this.
Shalom,
Ann
